Infant scientist now has to learn about a real baby

The word ‘infant’ comes from the Latin word infans, which means ‘without speech’ (‘in’ = not; ‘fans’ = speak)

I’ve been studying infant development for about 20 years, but I haven’t changed a single diaper. My wife assures me that this gap in my baby knowledge will be filled very quickly after the birth of our son (in about 2 weeks). I’ve conducted research experiments on 100s of babies, at least, trying to figure out how they go from crying, pooping, speechless little creatures to crying, pooping little creatures that who speak (and backtalk). So there are some things I know about babies, but I fear that this scientific knowledge has done nothing to prepare me for the real thing.

Well, maybe fear isn’t the right word. I’m excited. I am a little anxious. I’m also curious. What’s it going to be like to see one baby every day, developing little by little. Will he hit all of the developmental milestones on time? Will he even show all of them? I know there is a lot of individual variability across infants. I’ve seen it in the data. But what will his specific deviations from the norm be? And how will I respond to them? Will I be worried despite my knowledge that individually variability is normal? Or will I even care? This baby might seem perfect to me no matter what he does and which developmental milestones he hits. I just don’t know at this point.

What I do know is that I have a lot to learn, and I’m looking forward to learning it. I’m also looking forward to sharing the experience with my wife. Although I’ve been thinking a lot about what it’s going to be like, it’s still kind of an abstract fantasy to me. The reality hasn’t set in, even though I can feel the little guy moving around inside my wife. I’m not sure if the reality really will set in until I can actually see him and hold him.

Or maybe not until I change his diaper for the first time.